Thursday, May 7, 2009

Must be PMS...

I think I'm a little down today. I've noticed that I've been more negative than usual, and that it's only 9:53 and I've already come close to tears because there are women parading around my neighborhood "preaching" (I tried to tell them this is a no solicitation neighborhood, and they told me they weren't selling anything, which is true, but they apparently need to look up the definition of solicitation because it's not limited to selling). I appreciate that people have and enjoy faith. I totally do. In some ways, I'm envious of that. At the same time, when I'm already not having a good morning, I'm really not in the mood to listen to you ask me about my faith. Really.

I don't really have an excuse for this crabby mood I'm in, except that perhaps I'm PMS'ing. Baby has been crabby today, too, because he woke up some time before 5:45, and I think was just really tired this morning. Not too sure why he was up so darn early, but hopefully it was a fluke. I like to get up early, so I can have some time alone before everyone else wakes up...but I only like to get up early to be alone. Not to play with Baby.

I decided that I wanted to treat myself to something fun today, in part because I'm in a crabby mood, and in part because I've felt like the last several weeks have included very few fun things for Mom, and with this weekend being Mother's Day, I wanted to do something nice for Mother's Day with Baby. Only problem is I can't actually think of anything. Sure, I could go to the mall, but how would that be fun? I go there every other week to visit the play area with Baby. Plus, it's not like money grows on trees to shop with (oh boy I wish it did). Then there's lunch, I could go out to lunch with Baby, that might be nice. But where would we go? Where would he behave? Where would we not get stared at when he has a fit? Some place probably that isn't too high on my "let's go there for lunch" list. So, the mall's out. Lunch is out. What else is there? Sure, I could go to a bookstore. But I have so many books I haven't read.

Are you sensing a pattern here? Every time I think of something, I talk myself out of it. Is this one of those things that inherently changed in me when Baby came out? There are so many, is this just another? That I just can't possibly let myself have some fun? I mean, sure I had fun with Baby at the spray park on Tuesday. And yesterday in his first movement class at the YMCA. But grown-up fun? Seems hard to come by because I won't let myself have it. Sounds like something I need to work on.

Off to go get a morning snack ready for Baby and to gather my coupons for grocery shopping. There's some real fun for you (dripping with sarcasm here!).


ModernMom said...

Yikes. Sounds like the "I'm at home with no adult to talk to blues" Been there, done that. Sometimes coffee with a friend helps, or even something silly like painting your toes a hot pink!
Hope you get your mojo back!

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