Thursday, May 7, 2009

Must be PMS...

I think I'm a little down today. I've noticed that I've been more negative than usual, and that it's only 9:53 and I've already come close to tears because there are women parading around my neighborhood "preaching" (I tried to tell them this is a no solicitation neighborhood, and they told me they weren't selling anything, which is true, but they apparently need to look up the definition of solicitation because it's not limited to selling). I appreciate that people have and enjoy faith. I totally do. In some ways, I'm envious of that. At the same time, when I'm already not having a good morning, I'm really not in the mood to listen to you ask me about my faith. Really.

I don't really have an excuse for this crabby mood I'm in, except that perhaps I'm PMS'ing. Baby has been crabby today, too, because he woke up some time before 5:45, and I think was just really tired this morning. Not too sure why he was up so darn early, but hopefully it was a fluke. I like to get up early, so I can have some time alone before everyone else wakes up...but I only like to get up early to be alone. Not to play with Baby.

I decided that I wanted to treat myself to something fun today, in part because I'm in a crabby mood, and in part because I've felt like the last several weeks have included very few fun things for Mom, and with this weekend being Mother's Day, I wanted to do something nice for Mother's Day with Baby. Only problem is I can't actually think of anything. Sure, I could go to the mall, but how would that be fun? I go there every other week to visit the play area with Baby. Plus, it's not like money grows on trees to shop with (oh boy I wish it did). Then there's lunch, I could go out to lunch with Baby, that might be nice. But where would we go? Where would he behave? Where would we not get stared at when he has a fit? Some place probably that isn't too high on my "let's go there for lunch" list. So, the mall's out. Lunch is out. What else is there? Sure, I could go to a bookstore. But I have so many books I haven't read.

Are you sensing a pattern here? Every time I think of something, I talk myself out of it. Is this one of those things that inherently changed in me when Baby came out? There are so many, is this just another? That I just can't possibly let myself have some fun? I mean, sure I had fun with Baby at the spray park on Tuesday. And yesterday in his first movement class at the YMCA. But grown-up fun? Seems hard to come by because I won't let myself have it. Sounds like something I need to work on.

Off to go get a morning snack ready for Baby and to gather my coupons for grocery shopping. There's some real fun for you (dripping with sarcasm here!).

1 comments:

ModernMom said...

Yikes. Sounds like the "I'm at home with no adult to talk to blues" Been there, done that. Sometimes coffee with a friend helps, or even something silly like painting your toes a hot pink!
Hope you get your mojo back!

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